A couple of months ago we had dinner with one of the leaders at our church and his family, during our conversation he said to me “You need to write during this time, people need to hear more about the valley than they do the good times.” I remember the way I sat there sort of taking in his honest statement. The truth is, he doesn’t know me that well…but he knows Jesus well and he walks with him, so his advice to me isn’t taken lightly. We drove home that night digesting all the fruit that we received from that simple dinner date, and I stared out at the street lights as I considered that call to write through the pain, rather than after it. Truthfully, that’s no easy task, I think we can all agree. Vulnerability is scary as hell, and it’s just easier to keep the real, delicate things close to our chest, they feel safer there. I mean, some of us can’t even get ourselves to sit down with our journals and be truly honest with Jesus on the lines of paper that will never be seen by another persons eyes, let alone in a blog where anyone can read it….and then form opinions about it. < Here enters all the ways I have always cared too much what others think.
After Kyle and I got home that night and put our children in bed, hair nappy from all the swimming they had done, I told him what was on my heart & how I was wrestling with what had been said to me, this encouragement to really be brave in the place God had been calling me. He layered on more affirmations, the way I knew he would, and I made a commitment in that moment to vulnerability in the no matter what places.
Here’s where it gets tricky. Because during that time things were heavy…but they weren’t nearly anywhere close to where they were about to be. In fact, what felt like my valley actually simply became the ‘middle of the mountain’ if you will. And eventually, it became this thing that the Lord used to breath life into me, to remind me that he uses all things, and that often times those things that shattered our hearts will be the very same things that he uses to heal our broken places. Guys, that redemption is sweet.
The last few weeks I have been as sick as you know what. Is that a saying? I don’t know. But I have literally been laying more than I can remember doing in a very long time. There hasn’t been a lot of interaction with a lot of other people, because moving has been hard…and there wasn’t a lot of room for talking because, well that’s also been hard. Instead, there have been many moments of observing and listening. On one hand the extrovert in me has felt like it was losing it’s mind, while the brokenness in me was experiencing something Jesus needed it to. My house has been dirty, yes. My hair has been rarely done, and it’s to the point where when I do actually get dressed…my children question why. So, that should give you a picture of things. But you guys, my heart is more full today than it has been in a while. Not because the hard season passed, or because all the stresses of life disappeared – but because I slowed down enough to hear His voice, to be reminded of the value of thanksgiving through trial, to have him show me the gift of seeing the wonder in my children’s eyes, to let him whisper to me that my dreams matter to him and that this too will pass.
All of those things, those glimmers of truth and hope are relevant for me, but they aren’t ONLY for me. They are for you too. God’s goodness transcends far beyond our circumstances friends, the truth of his faithfulness is never less true in varying situations, and he is always big enough for anything we carry. A N Y T H I N G.
I always want this site to be a place where Jesus lives. I want his glory to shine through everything I write, my junk, my pain, my mountain tops, all of it. I want it to be a place where men and women are reminded of the reckless love of Christ and our call to live an uncomfortable life in service to His Kingdom. And lastly, I recently decided I don’t want this to always only have my words, my perspectives, and my seasons in it. I want this to be a place where many hearts have the ability to contribute moments from their seasons – the good, the bad, and the ugly. All of it, for the glory of God. Because the truth is, we need more perspectives than just one, and I believe that God wants to use more than just be in this space.
So can we all meet in prayer for that? For the women who have already been asked to share intimate parts of their hearts, to write on topics that challenge them? That God would meet them in their uncertainty and use their words for His cause, that their brokenness would highlight his sovereignty, and that our hearts would rally around each post with empathy and gratitude for their willingness to lay it all down.
“For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.” Romans 12:4 & 5
Happy Weekending Friends.