A few weeks ago in church I could feel the Holy Spirit reminding me that “this is war”. It was so strong that tears were the only way my body knew to respond. In that moment my wrestling was on behalf of someone I loved dearly and initially I believed that’s what the reminder was for, but right now it’s for a lot of us, and most days recently – it’s for myself. The minute we become complacent and forget about the fight, is the moment we begin to lose. Take the heavy spiritual warfare out of it for just a moment, and the fight still exists. We’re fighting to be good moms, good friends, fighting to grow our souls, fighting for our marriages and our homes. We’re fighting every day for ourselves and our loved ones, we’re fighting for healing, fighting to find the light again – and a lot of us are tired. But sisters, don’t forget that this life takes fight, we need more people awake in it. Don’t grow weary in the storm, we need more people with souls who have come out the other side.
This season I’m in is not for the half-awake. It’s taking all of my ALL and I’m learning things daily. You think you know stuff about stuff, until you realize you don’t know much about MUCH & God has all kinds of plans to teach you rich things. For the last few years, I’ve seen the way the Lord has allowed certain storms to teach me how to swim in deep and unpredictable waters. Wave after wave has combed through his fingers on their way to me, until I got the hint – “Dig your heels in, become expectant. Prepare.”
I’m learning to no longer get surprised when life throws lemons, or the enemy attacks. I’m learning I was actually created for war and that God has called us to MIGHTY things, that we are capable of Kingdom work even in the depths of our grief. I’m learning grace was never free – not in the beginning & not now. It’s painful to hand out freely because our breaking hearts feel the sting. Our wounds and hurt feelings cry for affirmations while our God calls us to selfless love. This ain’t no walk in the park – this kingdom strut – but we are able, if we dig our heels in.
I’m learning to lean on women stronger than me, women much wiser and seasoned. I’m learning it’s ok to not know what to do in times of devastation, so long as I know who to look to. I’m learning seasons are shorter than they feel, and love is deeper than our toes can touch & it’s ok to be scared when you lose your footing. I’m learning my capacity for offense is a direct result of the time I’ve spent with my Father & humility is a personality trait that is earned in the trenches.
I’m learning all kinds of things, and truthfully I’m tired most days. But you know what I’m not? Defeated. I’m not out for the count. Im living in a bad dream, but I know who wins in the end and I’m riding that truth all the way until I get to see it all redeemed. I’m proclaiming my victory now, while the rain pours down and I’m thanking God for His faithfulness in the storm. Girlfriends, we get to CHOOSE, even when it doesn’t feel like it – we are able to shift perspectives & I’m telling you It’s worth the fight.